Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.
Fixing Azure Functions and Azure Storage Emulator 5.8 issue
Flipping the static site switch for Azure Blob Storage programmatically
Persisting IoT Device Messages into CosmosDB with Azure Functions and IoT Hub
Hosting static site for cheap on Azure with Storage and Serverless
Decoupling with Azure Functions bindings and Storage Queues triggers